I found out what my first 2 classes are: marketing and human relations. I start on May 7th.
Friday, April 27, 2018
Sunday, March 11, 2018
Sunday, February 18, 2018
18 Feb 2018
I have lost some weight...
I started out wearing mens size 36 jeans and now I'm wearing Tom's size 32 jeans. Currently the equivalent to a womens size 10.
The last time I weighed myself, my scale said 154. Maybe I should pick up a pair of mens size 30 jeans.
The last time I was in this weight range was when I was living in Colorado and still able to do a lot of walking.
Sunday, February 11, 2018
In the fall of 2017 I decided to try the Ketogenic diet/lifestyle.
Since Thomas' death on 11 March 2017 my weight blossomed up to about 183 lbs at my heaviest and I didn't like how that made me feel. My friend Pixie had been doing the Ketogenic diet, plus exercise and had great results, dropping more than 100#. So I thought I'd see what would happen if I tried the diet, without the exercise. I lost 20# between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I've lost a bit more, but I don't have the numbers at the moment. I'll post them when I have them.
~Jendie aka Jesse
Sunday, December 3, 2017
Tuesday, November 7, 2017
Thursday, May 25, 2017
Do not try to contain her, she will slip through your fingers.
She is as fragile as the wings of a spun glass fairy.
Do not try to hold her too tightly, she will break.
She is as fierce as a mother bear protecting her cubs.
Do not try to rule her. She will cut you to shreds.
She is as beautiful as the heavens.
Do not be jealous, she will turn her back on you.
She is as loving and passionate as Aphrodite herself
Do not mistake this for weakness, she can destroy you with a glance.
Her heart has known more pain and sorrow than you will understand in 10,000 lifetimes
And more joy and happiness than you will understand in 10,000 more.
She keeps it locked away, more secure than Davey Jones locker.
If you truly love her, patience will guide you there and trust is the only key.
Thanks sister from another mister. I love this and see a some of myself in this even if I'm not the person you wrote it for. <3 font="">3>
Saturday, May 20, 2017
A friend posted in his journal about suicide and the voice in his head telling him to do it. Tom told me that he had a voice in HIS head telling him to kill himself.
Cancer beat him to that, unless he overdosed on morphine when trying to reduce the pain from the cancer.
Either way, I found him dead in my bed on March 11, 2017. I had gotten up that morning to let the dog out and thought to let Tom rest as long as he needed to. But, I got a movie in the mail that Tom said he liked to watch and put it on the bed next to him
Saturday, April 29, 2017
Last night, April 28 2017, Brandon and I went out for dinner to honor Tom's birthday. We both raised our drink glasses to him.
I'm still locked in the fog that makes it a bit more difficult to get things done. A common occurance that happens when someone's partner dies.
I'm going to the celebration of his life tonight. He has touched the hearts of many people.
Tuesday, April 25, 2017
I'm going to be assessed again on May 5th... *insert eye roll here*
There aren't any available in my area, but my case manager is going to assess me again. But hopefully I'll be getting my power scooter in the next month or so and that will help.
I found a movie that made me think of Tom, it's called The Danish Girl. It reminds me of Tom in the way that he told me that he felt like he was a woman in a male body. Kind of like I feel like I'm a man in a female body.
Here's a little something I found online...
I'm mad at myself for forgetting what female name he said he wanted if he got the surgery. I wish I had written it down.
Monday, February 13, 2017
He only has weeks left and has been making plans for what to do with his remains.
I love him so very much, but seeing him suffer is hard on me and I told him I didn't want him to extend his life if it only made him miserable. He's ready to let go and I'm willing to let him die on his own terms.
I wonder if this is what I'd need to finally get a caregiver... that's too high a price to pay.
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
3 October 2016
I will need to get a hearing about the new parenting plan and primary custody of Nicolas and child support if Steven doesn't respond by 25 October 2016.
This was done and I was granted primary custody of Nicolas on 21 November 2016.
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
Saturday, October 1, 2016
Tom sees the oncologist today, hopefully he'll learn how they think he should treat the esophageal and liver cancers.
He's very fatigued and swallowing food is a challenge. He's already lost about 25-30 lbs.
I'm very concerned for him and don't feel that 5 years together is a long enough time. We'll be celebrating 5 years on November 13th 2016.
I'll be by him each step of the way.
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
I fell yesterday 26 July 2016 and skinned my left knee. I think this makes 3 falls in the month of July. I'll have to check my book. Yes 3 falls this month, 1 inside, 2 outside.
I need to make a phone call about getting a caregiver.
Tuesday, July 19, 2016
I fell at about 1:30 this morning. I skidded across the floor, between the love seat and the dog crate. I got a rug burn on the palm of my right hand, plus I landed on my water cup. I may end up with a bruise on my abdomen, near one of my incision scars.
I need to get some sleep now.