Yay

Yeah

Steven has gotten the stuff started for our divorce. I think I need to talk to an attorney about some of the stuff in the papers he submitted... and some of the stuff he left out. I'm not going to just roll over and let him get away with more crap.

UNREGISTER
nicebutevil91

From an Old Woman to a Young Woman -- reposted from a Craigslist posting

From an Old Woman to a Young Woman
Date: 2009-09-01, 1:22PM PDT

1. You are not a victim. No matter what happens to you, don't take the pussy route and blame the world for your misfortune. If you were sexually assaulted, verbally abused, etc and lived to tell about it; take your pain and help those who need it. Writing emo poetry isn't going to solve anything.

2. Invest in your education first, your looks second. Anyone can pay a plastic surgeon to look hot, but not everyone can read a book and do simple math.

3. No matter what you call it, having a 'man to take you shopping' is glorified prostitution. He wants you for your body, you want him for his wallet. Cut the crap and call it what it is.

4. Do not seek confidence in other people. Magazines, celebrities and most pop influences are there to make you feel like you're nothing. Don't buy into it. Those celebrities need your money to look fabulous. Invest in yourself, not hype.

5. Stop fueling gossip mongers [Perez Hilton, TMZ.]. They have nothing to talk about and if you follow them for long, neither will you.

6. Be modest; why have all your goods unwrapped and leave nothing for the imagination?

7. Know the difference between fucking and love. There is a major difference and if you don't know it, pick up a book or ask someone who does.

8. Do not have children just because you're lonely or insecure. Your child will end up hating you for it and you won't get the emotional blanket you hoped you'd get.

9. Get a job. Seriously. Just because you're a woman doesn't mean that you are excused from work. Find a trade, get a job. If you are a house wife, be a good one. If you are a career woman, put your heart into what you do.

10. A respectable companion is rarely at a 'bar' or da club'. These places are meat markets and will only set you up for a douchebag or a wimp. If you go, refer to rule 7.

11. Learn to cook. Cooking is a dying skill that needs not be. You'd be surprise how much weight you lose and how you can get a decent companion if you know more than picking up a phone and calling for dinner.

12. Get off your phone. If it's not your best friend, your job or your family, your cackling is not important and the rest of the world does not want to hear it. Listen more. Talk less.

13. Stop putting so much of your money into things [purses, shoes, make up] and start putting it into a savings account, a 401k or an IRA. Those shoes are not going to vest when you turn 65.

14. Stop using men to get you stuff. Have some self respect and buy your own drinks, meals and entertainment. A date will respect you more if you show them you are not helpless.

15. Perfume and baby powder does not make up for good hygiene. Shower, do your laundry, clean your place. Body odor is not excusable for either genders.

16. If you are a Lesbian, respect yourself and stop trying to find acceptance in the world. 9/10 they will not accept you. Tell them 'fuck you' and be your own woman.

17. If you are a Lesbian, you are not anymore special or important than anyone else. You love other women and you have that right, but do not flex your preference thinking it makes you unique. Your mind and experiences make you unique, either gay or straight.

18. Buy clothes that fit. Be tasteful with your clothing be you big or small.

19. Don't eat for comfort, vomit to make yourself beautiful, and starve yourself to feel loved. Exercise, be sensible with your food choices, don't deprive yourself but never eat too much. The quickest way to a size 30, and to the grave, is past your teeth.

20. If they say the love you, ask them to earn your heart through good deeds, genuine kindness and respect.

21. Romance is not dead; but if you're not willing to give it, don't expect it in return.

22. Stop being a bitch to other women and other people. If you are not happy, go get therapy. No one deserves to be berated because you don't have the guts to berate yourself.

23. Do something new every day. Pole dance to learn about your sensuality, paint to express your creativity, write a blog to express your soul. Evolve and never stop learning.

24. Look in the mirror everyday and smile at what you see.

25. Stay safe. Learn to defend yourself against one or multiple attackers. Jackals do not attack if they see a big stick. If all else fails, run. There is no shame in running if it keeps you safe.

26. Love yourself. Always. When you love yourself to the fullest, the world will open with opportunities

This is a drawing I did in Junior high... I was 14.

I went to the beach today... it was the first time in quite a while that I got to go look for some rocks to tumble after I finally get my repaired rock tumbler back, sometime later this week.. yippee!!

Wendy

Control

I snapped today... cut more of my hair off.
Picked up things in the living room.
Took out the trash...
Took out the recycling...

Maybe I should take some valium... the prescription is to help control some of my spasticity issues, but my mind is racing. I haven't had breakfast yet... my bowl of multigrain Cheerios and blueberries is sitting next to me... The Rose Bowl is playing on the television...

My book is sitting on the arm of the chair...
and I'm playing on the computer...

This is crazy! I don't like this feeling of loss of control in my life... so what do I do??

I chop off my hair.

I need to call my mom to see if she can get it nicer looking... make sure everything is evened out. My hair has gotten a lot more curlier/wavier over the past few months. I think this is adding to my anxiety... feeling of loss of control.

I need a vacation...

Wendy

Things I don't want to lose track of

http://www.witchyswikkedgraphix.com/index.html

http://www.beadedpatterns.com/

Justin's siglines that I love-

Current one- "Everybody run! The calculator has become self-aware! And it's questioning its existence!"

Previous faves- "I'm not stealing, I'm just borrowing without asking and no intention to return it."



http://www.fliptext.org/


http://graphics.flashandlayouts.com/index.php

Haircut

I cut my hair today.. I'm not sure how bad a job I did of it.. I just put it into a ponytail and whacked off about 4 inches. My regular hairdresser, my mom, has been unwell these past few weeks, so it's not like I can have her do it for me.. I just wouldn't ask that of her.

Someday I'll have to get over my fear of going to someone else to cut my hair..and be like most people. Not everyone has a family member who is a licensed barber/cosmetologist. But my mom has been doing hair on and off for about 40 years- basically my whole life.

I had a good appointment at physical therapy today... I saw the PT assistant, Martin. He cracks me up.. always making me laugh. This makes doing the strengthening exercises that much more enjoyable. I was put in the "cage" to do some stretches... the cage was fun. A whole lot more fun than the shoulder exercises. I hope I'll be able to move my arm tomorrow... we shall see.

Physical Therapy

I saw my neurologist in November. He referred me to a physical therapist because I'm having problems with not being able to lift my right arm out to the side without a lot of pain. Plus I'm having gait problems, so this is also being addressed.

He had me do these exercises during my last appointment... MAN did those make my shoulder ACHE, but by after I went back to the examination room I got such a wonderful massage in that area.

If only the man I'm married to would massage my knotted muscles to help me combat the pain I live with daily.. Massage works so much better than the drugs I take for it.

Wendy...

Rain - Haiku

Listening to rain
Stuccato beats serenade me
Natures lullaby

Talking with friends

I had a good talk with my friend last night. I've known her since 5th grade. We talked about random things, like the junk going on in my life and random other things. It's nice to know someone who has known me since way back when, on through my adulthood.

Did I grow?

When I went to one of the Orthopedic surgeons I got measured so they knew how tall I am. I put down that I was I was 5' 1/2"... because that is how tall I've been my WHOLE adult life. The nurse measured me at the doctors office and says that I'm 5'2"... I was wearing shoes... is that measurement really that accurate?

Sometimes things like this make me wonder about some people in the medical profession.

Wow! I've grown and inch and a half since I had my youngest child. I guess this means that the steroids I'd been on after he was born didn't do anything bad to my bones... I've honestly been concerned.

Now back to normal Wendy mode...

If I've grown an inch and a half, why are my pants still so much too long?

Something that irritates the stuffing out of me- plus happy anniversary

I get this email message from the NMSS (National Multiple Sclerosis Society) and it talks about the effects of smoking on people with MS. How people with MS who smoke their bad habit makes their MS worse.

I am NOT a smoker, never have been, never will be! So what happened to ME, why is MY MS getting worse? Diet soda? Oh hell no! I don't drink that stuff. Because I got Mono as a teen? Umm.... nope, not me. I started getting weird symptoms that couldn't be explained before I was a teenager. Suffered from depression since grade school. At 15 I started having back pains from knotted up muscles that I was getting for seemingly no reason. After testing my doctor told us it was from stress.

At 19 I was told I had carpal tunnel syndrome... by 20 I was tested and told that I didn't have it. Finally, after many other mysterious things happening to me I finally see a doctor and get told I have MS when I'm 29 years old. Now I'm 40, it's been 11 years since I first found out. Today is the anniversary of when I found out. It's been 11 years, I'm still walking thanks to the meds I've taken in the past and what I take today.

Just a rant.

It has been three weeks since I broke my finger, I feel like I will have to have surgery on it to get full mobility back. But what do I know, I'm not a doctor, I'm just a patient. I'm just tired of wearing this stupid splint, I'm tired of my husband being no help to me. In fact, this afternoon he ranted and raved at me about MY not helping him when he asked me to do something for him.

WHAT?!? Didn't I ask him to help me out after breaking my finger? Don't I ask him to help me out around the house with things I can't do myself, but get no help from him? Why couldn't he have done what he supposedly asked me to do? I had just woken up from a nap and was just starting to eat lunch, something he had already done himself. I didn't hear him ask me to do what he wanted

I ask him for help because I can't do everything he thinks I should be able to do, because I do have advancing Multiple Sclerosis and don't have the energy to clean up after all of us, all of the time. He's freaking 40 years old and should be able to clean up after himself. Why do I have to pick up his empty soda bottles when he empties them and leaves them around the house? Why do I have to be the one to take out the trash? Right now I can't do the dishes... it's nearly impossible to do with only one hand, we don't have a dish washer, they have to be done by hand.   

If we had a washer and dryer I would be able to do the laundry... but he gave mine away with the promise to buy me a new set... but here it is 2.5 years later and we're having to go to the laundry mat to do laundry. I don't drive, so I can't just take the clothes there myself. You wouldn't want me on the road with you, so don't suggest that. Do you really want to be on the road with a driver who is having a panic attack during random moments?